Happiness is not always about adding more to your life. Sometimes it’s about removing things from your life! I’ve come to realize over the years much of my stress and dissatisfaction came not necessarily from what I wasn’t doing but rather from what I continued to hang onto. Once I made the decision to stop doing certain behaviors and adopt specific mindsets, my life became lighter, less burdensome, happier, and more peaceful. Below are seven things I stopped doing that helped me be happier.
1. Trying to please everyone
I used to bend over backwards trying to meet people’s expectations. It was very draining and made it difficult to establish my own identity. There will always be someone who disapproves regardless of what I do. Once I let go of these people-pleasing behaviors and swapped them out for a more authentic expression of self, that was a huge relief.
2. Overthinking everything
I used to overthink everything I said and did. I would overanalyze every conversation I had and worry about things way beyond my control. Now I tell myself that I do not have to pay attention to every thought: not every thought needs my contemplation, and not every situation needs to be overanalyzed. Choosing action over perfectionism and peace over overthinking has made a huge difference in my happiness.
3. Comparing Myself to Others
It is so easy to get sucked into the comparison trap with social media. I was constantly comparing my progress, looks, achievements, etc., to the perfectly curated highlights of everyone else’s life. Once I started to focus on my own journey and define success on my own terms, I felt more grounded and grateful.
4. Saying Yes When I Should Have Said No
When I agreed to do things because I felt guilty or obligated, I felt tired and resentful. I used to say yes simply to avoid confrontation and to seem “easygoing.” I always went along with things, and it affected my mood and well-being. Learning to set boundaries, even if it made someone disappointed, allowed me to protect my time and energy and, ultimately, my relationships.
5. Chasing Perfection
I used to think that if I just worked harder, everything could be perfect: my career, relationships, even my appearance. Perfection is elusive, and I discovered that chasing perfection only made me feel inadequate. Instead I began to focus on progress rather than perfection, and suddenly life felt more human and much more enjoyable.
6. Holding on to Grudges
Resentment is like carrying around a heavy backpack—that can sometimes be so heavy, you don’t even remember how heavy it is until you put it down. Forgiving other people (and myself) didn’t mean to forget or excuse the hurt we caused; it simply required that I stop holding onto the past in a way that didn’t serve me. Giving up grudges invited a sense of peace and allowed me to move on.
7. Waiting for the “Right Time”
I used to keep postponing plans—travel, hobbies, major decisions—forever waiting for some “perfect moment.” Perfect moments were few and far between, so I learned that life was always going to be a bit gritty and a bit uncertain, and that was okay. Even in my imperfect attempts to move forward, there was a level of satisfaction that I had never felt waiting.
8. Neglecting My Mental and Physical Health
In the unhealthy past, I coped with stress, exhaustion, and feelings of sadness by muscling through the pain and pretending that I didn’t need to rest. I now see self-care as an absolute necessity! Self-care through sleeping enough, moving enough, eating enough nourishing food, and continuing therapy has improved each and every area of my life.
9. Focusing on the Past
I used to spend time ruminating about things I had done in the past or experiencing sadness over painful moments I had lived. This way of consuming time, energy, and mind space kept me stuck. I have learned to reflect on my past with compassion, capture what I can learn, and move on. The past cannot be changed. What I can influence to change is my future. My future can be built upon what I do today and the steps I take in the living present.
10. Being Scared of Failing
Fear used to prevent me from trying new things, taking risks, exploring my passions, and simply living. I have learned that failure is not the opposite of success; it is part of it. The more I accepted my mistakes as learning, the more I felt free and fulfilled.
11. Not Being Present
I spent way too much time worrying about the future or replaying the past. When I discovered mindfulness, I let go of that pattern that was previously a habitual story. I started to find more joy in the little things in life because I was living in the moment through my breath, awareness, and appreciation.
Final Thoughts
Happiness is not a state of being, but rather it is cultivated through small, intentional decisions. For me, it was not about adding things to my to-do list; it was about removing things that were not supporting me. Once I gave up these seven things, I made space for more joy, peace, and self-acceptance. That made all the difference.
